(Hint: You Already Are)

With Valentine’s Day approaching, there’s a lot of talk about celebrating with your “special someone,” presumably another person. What I would like to suggest, however, is that even if you are spending Valentine’s Day alone you can still spend Valentine’s Day with someone special: yourself.

There will never be another YOU

Just as no two snowflakes or fingerprints are exactly alike, there has never been, and will never be, another person exactly like you. Your thoughts, experiences, and emotions are entirely unique to you. Your combination of traits, quirks, foibles, abilities, and weaknesses makes you memorable, gives you unique insights and perspectives on living, and qualifies you to make your own unique contributions to the world.

The problem is, we often compare ourselves to others, measuring our worth by external standards: job titles, social status, appearance. Unfortunately, that habit is a recipe for disappointment. Why be a lesser version of someone else? Be the first and best version of you!

(And by the way. external measures of accomplishment will never compensate for a feeling of emptiness or unworthiness inside. One can never get enough of that which does not satisfy. The fact is that real self-worth comes from within.)

The myth of perfection

Many people come to me hoping for a skincare product that will make them “perfect.” The truth, fortunately, is that “perfection” doesn’t exist. It’s an idea—an ideal—that varies by culture, time and place, and by individuals. The “perfect” person for me is not the same as the “perfect” person for you. So, instead of striving for an unattainable ideal, why not embrace your individuality. Your laugh lines? They’re proof of joy. Your scars? They tell a story of resilience. Your quirks? They make you unforgettable.

The science of self-love

Self-love isn’t selfish or egotistical. In fact, self-love is the necessary basis for loving others.

By self-love, I don’t mean vanity or conceit. Self-love doesn’t mean you think you’re better than others or that your needs are more important than theirs. Self-love means that you respect yourself; you accept yourself—as you are, not in some future idealized state; and that you honor and even celebrate yourself!

Research has shown that acceptance, forgiveness (including self-forgiveness), gratitude, and self-compassion are powerful tools for mental and physical health. When we appreciate ourselves—flaws and all—we reduce stress, improve our mood, and even enhance our physical well-being. That’s why so many of my Insights are about honoring and celebrating oneself:

“Become important to yourself.”

“Give yourself permission to…” whatever!!!

“Take care of the most important person in your life – you.”

“Make your health and wellness a priority.”

“Be the most important person to yourself.”

“Honor others by honoring yourself.”

“Celebrate each day as if it was your birthday.”

“Love yourself.”

In other words, treat yourself with the same care and respect you would offer a dear friend or partner.

Here are a few simple ways to start appreciating the incredible person you already are:

• Celebrate small victories. Every step forward—no matter how small—is progress.
• Surround yourself with people who see the good in you. Choose relationships that uplift and inspire you.
• Stop comparing. Your journey is yours alone; embrace it.
• Practice gratitude. Take a moment each day to recognize something special about yourself.
• Do something good for someone else. Kindness and generosity are two of the quickest paths to feeling good about yourself.

Love yourself first

This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re celebrating with a partner, friends, or solo, take a moment to acknowledge the most important relationship you’ll ever have—the one with yourself. Being “somebody special” isn’t about becoming someone different—it’s about recognizing who you already are.

You don’t need to chase it. You don’t need to prove it. You just need to believe it.

And I promise you, the world is a better place because you’re in it.

That’s #ModernWellness!