As a physician and wellness advocate, I’ve always believed that real health is not just skin deep. (Even skincare is not just skin deep!)

True health encompasses more than the physical body, which isn’t just a collection of organs—it’s a system influenced by how we think, feel, and connect. Yes, health involves physical care: nutrition, exercise, and rest. But it’s also affected by the relationships we nourish. One of the most underappreciated but powerful contributors to long-term health, particularly as we age, is friendship.

Why friendship matters more with age

Loneliness is a modern epidemic. In fact, it’s one of the most common and debilitating symptoms of Cultural Stress, which is my term for the stress of modern living. Today, people have fewer of the sustaining relationships than they once did—and less of the sense of supportive community that human beings evolved along with. Our families, our friends, and our communities are literally essential to our survival, and we ignore or neglect them at our peril.

Research consistently links social isolation to higher risks of heart disease, cognitive decline, depression, and even a shorter lifespan. But while loneliness is harmful, friendship acts as a healing force. It reduces stress, boosts immune function, and increases life satisfaction. A heartfelt conversation or shared laughter with a friend can release oxytocin, lower cortisol, and even reduce inflammation. That’s not just feel-good science—it’s actual medicine.

It’s important to recognize the importance of friendship early on, when we’re more socially active, because as we grow older our circles often shrink—due to retirement, relocation, or loss. Ironically, as friendships become more important to our health and longevity, they become more difficult to create. So build your relationships now—and care for them always.

Men vs. women: friendship styles that shape wellbeing

Interestingly, men and women tend to approach friendships differently, especially later in life. Women often maintain close, emotionally expressive bonds and are more likely to engage in regular communication with friends. They reach out, share openly, and support each other through life’s highs and lows.

Men, however, frequently form friendships based on shared activities—sports, hobbies, work. While these friendships can be meaningful, they often lack the emotional depth that provides a buffer against loneliness. Moreover, as physical activities become more limited, men often lose the reason they got together with friends in the first place. Unless men take action to prioritize these connections, they may find themselves more isolated as they age.

But it’s never too late for anyone—regardless of gender—to build deeper, more intentional friendships.

Community as connection: ‘Mind Convenience Stores’ in South Korea

One surprising and inspiring example of friendship-based community innovation is the rise of Mind Convenience stores in South Korea. These aren’t your average corner shops. Designed as mental wellness hubs, they offer spaces for people to relax, reflect, and connect with others. With open layouts, soothing decor, and sometimes even on-site counselors, these stores aim to combat isolation in an increasingly fragmented society.

They serve as a gentle reminder that friendship doesn’t always have to begin with a big event or structured activity. Sometimes, just sitting near someone, sharing a snack, or starting a small conversation is enough to spark connection. Churches, temples, coffee shops, and park benches can serve a similar function—anywhere strangers can connect, even if only temporarily. Over time, these connections can become habitual and start a friendship.

It’s kindergarten all over again: tips for making friends at any age

Many adults ask me, “How can I make new friends?” The answer is simpler than we think, though it requires courage and consistency. Here are some ideas:

• Be proactive: Don’t wait for others to reach out. Invite someone for coffee or a walk.
• Join interest groups: Whether it’s a book club, hiking group, or sewing circle, shared interests create natural bonding.
• Take a class: Many community colleges offer free adult education classes where students of all ages can learn everything from a foreign language to flower arranging.
• Volunteer: Giving back not only benefits your community—it also introduces you to people who care about similar causes.
• Make time: Relationships need attention to thrive. Regular check-ins, texts, or meet-ups matter. Without them, it’s easy to drift apart.
• Be vulnerable: Open up. Share your story. People connect through authenticity, not perfection.

Can AI substitute for physical relationships?

Social scientists have become concerned that young people are increasingly turning to artificial intelligence (AI) as a substitute for interpersonal relationships. It’s understandable to seek connection wherever it can be found, such as when you’re new to a city, work remotely, or have other limitations on your physical relationships.

After all AI can:

• Listen without judgment, allowing you to talk freely and not worry about being misunderstood or criticized.
• Help you reflect, because AI can help you organize your thoughts, work through emotions, or rehearse conversations.
• Support your goals, whether you’re trying to improve social skills, build confidence, or deal with anxiety.

But relying on AI for friendship has real limitations and risks.

Here’s what AI cannot do:

• Reciprocate feelings. Friendship is a two-way emotional relationship. AI doesn’t have feelings or needs, so it can’t truly connect.
• Provide real-world companionship. No shared meals, no spontaneous laughter, no physical presence—things that matter deeply in human bonding.
• Help you grow socially. This is perhaps AI’s biggest downside. Relying on AI instead of investing in interpersonal relationships can reinforce isolation. Moreover, AI doesn’t have human personality traits—including those that require skill to navigate. If your primary relationships are with non-judgmental, consistently affirming chatbots, you’re not developing real-world relationship skills.

A healthier approach:

Think of AI as a supplement, not a substitute. If you’re feeling isolated and lonely, it can help bridge a gap, but it shouldn’t become the only source of companionship.

Final thoughts

Health isn’t just about living longer—it’s about living better. True wellness includes joy, purpose, and human connection. As we age, we don’t just need vitamins and exercise—we need each other.

July 24^th was International Friendship Day, launched to raise awareness that friendship is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. It’s one of the most powerful forms of preventive medicine we have. And the best part? It’s never too late to start.